The animals

Last night wasn't too bad but there were some who had it far worse then me. First little guy, he's a raccoon and he's stuck on a pole. Nice, he'll come down, he got up there is my initial stance on that. It goes back to the whole you don't find cat skeleton in trees debate (or chip bags but I'll get to that). Well turns out, not only is the raccoon stuck on a pole, the very tip top of it, he has a glass jar stuck on his head. He's spent the entire day crying. It's breaking the peoples hearts and they keep calling us about him. Well, we don't really go out for raccoons (another story, will get to that too.) so I called DNR who is on the way yey! So he will get rescued and hopefully will lay off the bottle for awhile.

The call prompted a little pod meeting as we didn't have calls so turned our chairs around and so began the normal, chit chat/card game. A co-worker remembered the time he put in a call for a woman because there was a kitten stuck in a chip bag. At first I thought he was joking, come on a chip bag, big ole opening right there, but he was serious. The woman sounded more upset then the cat so we did put a call in (thoughts about an ambulance for her near breakdown). My coworker was laughing when he told us the closing remarks put on the call. "Officer heroically extracted kitten from chip bag. All in order." Which reminded us of another closing remarks put on a noise complaint call. That one had been for a group of youth, 'talking loudly' near an intersection. Closing remarks were. "YO GOA. (youth gone on arrival) Told noisy crows to be quiet, they did not listen." Sometimes I think they close them that way just to give us a laugh.

The last story told before our 911 blew up was of how one coworker was coming back from lunch and could overhear the Sergeant on the radio talking to a Constable, seeing he if he could see the suspect. Constable said he had him in his sight. From the dispatcher chatter it was determined the suspect was on the roof of some panicked lady's house. So my coworker rushes to her desk to see what is going on but can't find the call. She's given the call number and pulls up an animal complaint. Seems there was a raccoon on this lady's roof and she was having a conniption fit. It had been a very slow night so the Sergeant and Constable were having some fun on the radio as they 'tracked' the suspect along the roof and then went into a foot pursuit. Apparently when they read the raccoons it's rights it was funny but that's when 911 blew up and we had to talk to the other animals.

Freaked out lady: He's from Alberta but he said he'd send his boys from here to my house.
Me: Did he give any names or when this would happen?
Freaked out lady: Just the crazytown boys from the hood.
Me: The hood eh?
Freaked out lady: Do you know what they plan to do when they get to my house?
Me: I doubt it's for tea and cookies.

Okay, so maybe by this part her half-shrill/crying/over the top was getting on my nerves. All this wasn't even directed towards her, it was to her son who didn't give a shit. No one came either. I seemed to have a night full of me saying something and then going shit, I probably shouldn't have said that.

Supervisor Plaid Jacket: The woman has skitzophrenia
Me: At least she's not alone.
Supervisor Plaid Jacket: She had a knife too.
Me: Was it a hostage situation?
Supervisor Plaid Jacket: Have you had your caffeine today?
Me: No and my locker bit me too.

Supervisor Plaid Jacket backed away to his fire pod.