Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Oh god, just don't let me drive!

So I didn't sleep much last night, at all, maybe three-four hours tops. When I did sleep I had this major weird dream that was also pretty funny.

I'm driving a car, which is weird on it's own because I'm terrified of driving and hate the thought. I know that in this dream my dad had just spent the entire afternoon giving me lessons so now I am on my own. I can see this from above, like me personally is in a helicopter watching me driver this stupid little silver car. Next thing I know this highway, which was straight, starts having all these super weird lanes, intersections and friggen loop de loops! What the hell! That doesn't go over well and I super crash my car. Not even just, exchange information and contact your insurance, it was totaled. I remember running up to the car and going, this is not good, this is not good. I actually crashed into the building and two of my coworkers were inside, a little freaked out. The first thing out my mouth to them was 'whoops'. Looking at my car I was still thinking, It'll be alright, It'll be alright. Looking inside though the front hood was pretty much merged with the cab of the car and the windshield glass had all these spiderweb cracks in them. My next thought was, nope, I'm dead.

A coworker comes up to me, she is the feisty one and shakes her head. I figure I must have taken her out too, so I best apologize later today. There is this guy that comes to you when you die and essentially takes your left pointer finger and singes it with a lighter to mark that your dead. Great. Didn't hurt though. Then you have to sit in a wheelchair and someone wheels you up to heaven.

Front doors of heaven aren't bad, you go in and you wheel around to the reception desk. The person wheeling you, (which was fuckin Jacks!) in my case tells them your name, date of birth and then wheels you into the main room. Oh and this point, you are naked but no one seems to care, at all.

The first room you go into you ditch the wheelchair and have to pick out clothes. I remember saying 'but I don't like tye dye'. I pick out clothes I like and let me say this. Heaven is like Walmart if it had a hotel department. We find my room which down this freaking long hall. Out in the Main area there are shelves with games, lots of stuff to do. There are couches, tvs, ping pong table everything. That's when Jacks leaves me, says she has other people to wheel in. (Now I know what you really do for a job.)

Heaven also has this major huge buffet table with possibly everything you would ever even think of eating. There was this girl there that seemed expressionless so I tried to make her laugh. I pointed, "Look deviled eggs!" No response. My material was not working. I probably would have enjoyed heaven more too if I was in a better mood. So since I'm there I start making the most awesome sandwich ever. Then my grandfather walks up behind me and starts talking about all the people admitted to heaven today. He also says that my dad was sad and he needed someone. That's about the point that I woke up. Now my gramps is dead in reality as well and I've never met him but I've seen pictures. Needless to say my dad and I are now having lunch on Thursday and he's even driving me to work today which I must get ready for.

So when I get to work I need to apologize to my coworker for totally taking her out, though it wasn't my fault. There was freaking loop de loops! I'll be fine, just don't let me drive!

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