Sunday, October 31, 2010

Peanut butter and Jam smoothie

So yesterday I went in for an early shift, which meant being at work for 05:30, yucky. I am not a morning person at all, however when I am tired I tend to get hyper first then sluggish, then hyper again. It also means that there can be a few immature conversations on the floor for a bit. There should be a warning to the public, don't have emergencies before 11:00 am.

I get there, and a few people from my watch have already logged on but there are few from the previous shifts looking as awake as I feel. I have a stainless steel travel mug and they point and say, 'you coffee, oh shit, I'm leaving'. Okay so maybe the one time I had coffee I was almost literately bouncing off the walls. I assured them it wasn't coffee but a smoothie I had made the night before for the morning. However I had been out of my normal ingredients so I had to improvise. In the end it turned out tasting like a peanut butter and jam sandwich, which wasn't so bad but it got some looks from my coworkers.

I sit down and the first thing the person I'm relieving says is, 'you smell like shampoo and *sniff* *sniff* cherries." My body wash is cherry seed and mint, shampoo is peach something. At this point I have gone from hyper to sluggish again so I sit at my computer and start answering the phone. Its an officer and he's calling to log off, however I uh failed.

Me: Hello Officer *slurred words*
Officer DL: Have you been drinking? Show me some ID.
Me: Yes.
Officer DL: Really?
Me: Yes and it tastes like a peanut butter and jam sandwich.
Officer DL: What? Oh honey drink the good stuff.
Me: But I like peanut butter and jam.

Conversation goes on like that for a little bit then I log him off and send him home. On the weekends we are allowed to wear jeans and some people even have blankets. It's cold in there! The girl beside me is just as tired as I am and says she's allergic to my smoothie and to dump it out. I can tell she is joking cause she does more then me and she has the smile she makes every time she tries to pull your leg. I told her I was allergic to her face. At this moment Supervisor Plaid Jacket is walking by. He stops, shakes his head and mumbles something about the maturity of 911. I'm mature. But it's not even six in the morning! Don't expect intellectual conversations that early. Maybe after a few drinks (if i drank) but not before six. Hell not before 11.

First 911 call.

Tired woman: I just got woken up.
Me: And okay what is your emergency? What woke you up?
Tired woman: Police siren. Tell them to shut if off.
Me: Really? Uh ... no.
Tired woman: But it woke me up. It's only six in the morning and now I won't be able to go back to sleep and I'll be tired all day.
Me: Well Mame are you calling from *secret address*, and is your phone number *secret*?
Tired woman: Well yeah but don't send them back here. I want to go to sleep.
Me: This isn't an emergency I'm taking you off of my 911 line.
Tired woman: It will be an emergency when I go to work looking like shit. *Hangs up*

Thus started my day. It was long but I gotta admit it had it's funny moments. Now tonight ... Halloween. Everyone be safe out there.


  1. LOL!!!!

    ♥ you`re awesome!


  2. Hi
    I just started following your blog. That call reminds me of all the 3am "I can't sleep" calls I have gone to. I always need to bite my tongue so I don't tell the pt's that, thanks to their call, I can't sleep either!
    Really, I can't believe how many people complain about sirens...

  3. Ha I know what you mean. Whe she said I just got woken up, I wanted to say so bad, yeah well me too.