Thursday, December 16, 2010

911 versus the Dispenser

I'd like to think my Division is made up of skilled, capable and intelligent individuals. We handle life and death emergencies (and the not so dire) calls all day long and I feel we do a rather good job. That is why I am perplexed, given my crowd of associates, that we are constantly thwarted by the paper towel dispenser. I don't get it. At least twice a cycle I see that it's get jammed up and it flat out refuses to preform like an scorned hooker who's got Johns lined up around the block. This has been going on for months now and every time our cleaner has to unlock the beast, beat it to shit before the paper towel is unclogged. Thank god we have a second one or everyone would think we had pee hands all day.

This is my first day back and it has gone quite well. A co-worker has surprised me with a loaf of her ever-lovin freaking awesome banana bread for me. The whole thing, for me!!! It was a belated birthday gift! WOOO! Then a half hour later another co-worker took a bite out of her Tim Horton's breakfast sandwich and didn't like it. Instead of wasting it, she cut off her bite marks and gave it to me. Taking it, I thought and then looked at both of them. "You two are trying to make me fat ... er."

Oh go figure this. Some kid thinks it's funny to tell people at school he has a gun then go back behind the school and set off firecrackers! Now here's the crazy part, everything thinks he's shootin off a gun and we get 1 call. A few hours later we have a guy walking down the sidewalk and falls over. He's fine. 6 calls! Priorities people!

Officer came in, guy had puked over him, felt sooooo bad. I saw him in the hallway as I was going to the bathroom. He said I looked like death, ok so I wasn't feelin the best, constant headaches suck. My only response 'well you smell like it', even though he'd already changed. Then I had to admit that death smelled a bit worse then he did, but I told him if he got any riper then he'd be close.

1 comment: